That’s what my wife told me around 10pm PST tonight, and as expected, I was. I’ve spent the last seven hours, essentially glued to CNN’s Election Night coverage. Some people watch the Olympics every four years, I am glued to Election Night coverage with John King and his Magic Wall, and Anderson Cooper Jake Tapper with his panel. One of the panel members said it best earlier: “It feels more like 2016 than 2020.”
I remember 2016. I remember being a senior at Oxy, watching them call California very early, and knowing right away that Hilary Clinton would lose. I remember watching Van Jones saying: “This is a white-lash”. I remember walking through campus and thinking, “we’re in mourning, this is like a funeral.”
At the time, I didn’t know that fear and hate would dictate our discourse. I didn’t know we would have White Supremacists would come out in droves in Charlottesville. I didn’t know that the President would ban Muslims and slowly erode our alliances around the world, didn’t know that he would separate families at the border, didn’t know that he would vilify Chinese people and Asian Americans for COVID, didn’t know that he would place three judges on the Supreme Court to repeal Roe v. Wade, didn’t know that he would instigate a riot that would shatter our perception of the stability of our democracy. I didn’t know that I would fear for my own life because he blame Chinese people for COVID.
When the 2020 election happened, there was a sigh of relief. There was a balancing of the world. Yes we were in the middle of a major pandemic, and yes there was great uncertainty, but there was hope. I was optimistic that the Biden Administration would help right the wrongs.
Today, not so much. Today, I am worried again. I am nervous, I am fearful, and I am in mourning. I am fearful that with a Senate Majority, the Supreme Court could be fully partisan for my entire lifetime. I am fearful that our international standing will collapse and the dictatorships and the authoritarian governments will continue to feel emboldened to do more harm.
I don’t know what to say, what to write, what to feel. As I pray, I am constantly reminded by the verse that Christal and I have centered our lives around.
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.” – Micah 6:8 NIV
Maybe it won’t be as bad. Maybe things will be different. Maybe we all act justly, love mercifully and walk humbly.
Yeh Heard It Here 